you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
