): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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