We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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