He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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