yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
