Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
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Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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