I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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