using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
not ubering you a puppy
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
