Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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