If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
