PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
