Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
