Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Randomize
