I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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