dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
