I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
His nipple licking is glorious
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