it wasn't lemon gatorade
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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