Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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