is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
