i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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