you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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