mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
