you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
