I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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