i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
