I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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