I heard we made out
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
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Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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