i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
