He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
