i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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