big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
