Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
