I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.