..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
