I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
