so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!