We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
