to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
