tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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