good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize