Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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