Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
