I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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