It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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