I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
