The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have post one night stand depression
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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