her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
