Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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