I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
