Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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