I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
