So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
These tits shall not be calmed
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
