So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
