i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize