We got so high we made milksteak
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
