Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Houston, we have a blender
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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